Are current vampire-hunting guilds influenced by post-modernism?

Such is the title of a satirical piece I wrote for my high school newspaper in grade twelve. Despite some lack of philosophical comprehension and divers grammatical errors, I still think it was brilliantly done. I exercise the right to laugh at it because it was funny. Here is an excerpt:

The vampiric community values strategic accomplishments of the modernist age, worst of all the idea of a universal struggle for human destruction. More commencingly (sic) dangerous is the mindset that post-modern conversation is met prominently through drinking blood. To gain a clarified stance on the problem, we eagerly attended a story-sharing between a vampire and his victim. The vampire appeared quite intent on sharing his feelings; he gnashed his teeth many times and made a number of daunting linguistic marks on the victim's neck. The victim, however, appeared less successful in communicating his story. In an obscure fashion he let out a few moans and one distinctive "arrrrrrgh!!" We are humbly reminded of Derrida's proposition that "there is nothing outside the text."