Wednesday, October 31, 2012

What I would say to Yoder if he were still alive.

"Physician! Heal yourself!"

Yes you, Yoder. With your characteristically provincial arrogance you denigrate the whole gamut of political rulers to the pagan; as demonic powers that are ordered by God and need to be held in check by the church. My presumption is that you understand the demonic and the pagan very well, because you, a married man, fooled around with your students in the most swinish and demonic manner. Might I remind you of our Lord's words about adultery in the Sermon on the Mount, or the saying in Mark about that which truly makes a man unclean? Here's a reminder: it wasn't taking up the sword or running for president. It was sexual immorality. But you don't need a reminder about the Sermon on the Mount, you who argued so blithely for the Christian's ability to faithfully keep it. Oops, I guess you fucked up on that one. And now we have a whole generation of people who ignore the fact that you were a slut in professor's garb, telling their consciences that your ethical paradigm somehow works in spite of you. This must make you so proud! Do as I say and not as I do! But here's my theory, Yoder. I think you failed in your own program because your program was a massive failure. I think the Luther you pretended to understand had a much more consistent idea of what Jesus was getting at than you think he did. I think your own willful sexual perversions attest, one by one, to the very notions of law and grace you so desperately slandered against, which you SO DESPERATELY needed.

Praise be to you Yoder, yes praise be to you! Thanks for continuing to deceive generations and generations of Mennonites into believing a skewed, wishy-washy, diluted, selective gospel that really looks more like some form of pathetic Law. You are indeed radical, Yoder. You are radically stupid. My biggest prayer is that people would realize this and stop erecting you in the throne of their hearts like a deaf and dumb Baal.

1 comment:

Richy said...


Your comment here is a fascinating combination of sixteenth-century polemics, mock-epic, anti-hagiography, socio-prophetic essay, and 21st-century slander. I love it! It's so enjoyable to read.